Lonliness

So here I am writing again.. because i'm desperate.. and because I have no one to talk to. It's not like there's anything to talk about, it's just that I've been feeling really AWFULLY lonely these past few days.
My sister had finals, today was her last day :) and my best friend in the world is in Thailand. But the real reason why I haven't talked to them lately is not because they're not around or they're not here for me.. no bel-3axxx wallah!! they're really the BEST, and I consider myself lucky just to have them in my life.
It's just that those particular indivisuals are *I dare say* the STRONGEST girls I have ever known.. and I feel so silly talking to them about whatever is on my mind, because I know what they both are going through.. I know how much pain they're suffering at this time of they're lives. I mean they have enough issues to worry about already, I can't selfishly start complaining about my life like nothing else matters but me.
As I said, they have enough issues to deal with, and that's also another thing that just KILLS me.. watching your loved ones hurt like that, knowing that with every word they say they're hurting, that every smile they draw on they're angel like faces, is fake but they smile anyway because they wanna go through the day and that's the only way they know how to.
Yet another reason for my unlimited sadness, is that my vacation started a week ago and it ends next week.. I have done ABSOLUTELY nothing during this holiday.. My mother is being a PAIIN..... and she wouldn't let me go out with my friends, and a million other reasons that I just don't wanna start talking about right now.. it's partly because I dunno what to start with, but mostly because I know I'm gonna end up crying, and I also don't think that I will ever stop writing if I ever started. Another reason is that because simply there are somethings you just like to keep to yourself :).
Oh yeah, so I decided to decrease the amount of times I cry, I'm trying to control it LOL! I really hope it works out *sigh*..
And Last but not least, I just got off the phone with A. an online friend that I have known for AGES.. seriously I can't even remember since when, and she really is a sweet heart.. so yeah today was our first phone call, it really felt good :)

till next time,
xoxo.

would you like you if u met you ? :P

would you like you if u met you ? :P

Answer here

5th-May-2010

One of my writings, it's not that good adry :)

أنـا أحبـك و لكنـي أخـافك تجـرح إحسـاسي
و أنـا مـا أريـد هـذا القلـب كـل يـوميـن يتكسّـر

جلسـت البـارح أفكـر يجي و يـروح وسواسـي
و أخـاف فـوادي لـو كثـّر فـي هالتفكيـر يتـفجـّر

سهرت الليل أنـا أحاتي و بيـدي قـابض أنفـاسي
"تغيـب اليـوم و إلا تعـود ؟ و قلبك قلبي يتذكّر ؟"

علـى كيفـك تصدّ و تـردّ و أنا قلبـي معك نـاسي
و مـالي غيـر أنا أتـريّا رجـوعك ليّـه و أتصبـّر

رغـم كـل هـذا أنـا أحبـك حـبٍ مالـه قيـاسـي
و لكـن قلبـك القـاسي رغـم كـل هـذا مـتحـجّـر

حـلمت إنـّك معـي قـاعد و كل أهلنـا جـلّاسي
علّـمنـي بـمعنـي الحلـم إذا هالحـلـم يتفـسـّر

I have absolutely nothing to say,
bss DAMN i knew it !! :')

Weewie. <3

Love is too Painful for me !

hmm.. i'll just get right to the point, ma feyah 3al-m8ademat :) !
so I started reading this story fe mentada here is the link: http://www.alamuae.com/story/showthread.php?t=70 .. but I honestly ma an9a7kom tegroonha, it's good and all.. but it's also heart-breaking.. I can't stop myself from crying over it !!
I couldn't even finish it..

I will be sixteen this june, and like every sixteen years old girl.. I've been dreaming for, emm a while now :P, about my prince charming, about the perfect man that I will find one day, that will actually love me!! but reading this story made me think about it from another concept!

Loving someone in such a way, would eventually destroy me! cause one day I will lose my prince charming! No matter how much I loved him, no matter how much he loved me, no matter how much we tried to carry our love in our hearts, we will lose everything one day.. if not by our own deeds, by Death! one day we will..

This story made me realize, that I might not wanna be in love after all! yes love is pretty indeed! but losing it is unbearably painful on the other hand, and I honestly don't think I'm strong enough to take such an excruciating feeling!

My mom once told me:" Marwa, La T7been 7ad fe 7yatch l-darajat ennich Ma troomeen t3eesheen bdoonah!! ".. she sounded so serious, and I thought how heartless can my mother be :S! but now when I look back at it.. She was just, she is just trying to protect me from getting hurt! so yes mother.. as long as I can help it, I will try my best not to fall so deep in love! I promise :)

عشان تتفادى جروح وخسارات . . "سَطح علاقاتڪ" مع الناس تِسلّم

I've never lost someone dear till now *el-7emdellah* but I can't even imagine myself in such a situation! and I definitely do not wanna try the feeling!
so Ya Rabii Ykoon Yoomi Gabel Yoom Kel 7ad a7ebah !!!! YA RAB >.<
--
Weewie <3

Boring Friday!

hmm..
I am back in two days !! Can you imagine :D
ta6awor huh?! :P
emm so I'm super bored though I have lots of work to do, but I choose to be bored instead :P hehe *a*..
So Nada my annoying sister woke me up at 7:oo am today!!!! and all she said was :" Marwa, are you up?.. ana sayra el-PI, call me yoom bat9a7-9e7een " and Left, and I was like WTF Dude !! you wake me up w-tseereen w-you don't even tell me the reason you did!! god i hate her so much right now!! 6ab3an I couldn't sleep after she left.. I kept trying to sleep so hard, but when I realized I wasn't gonna go back to bed I managed to pull myself out of bed! *super tired ofcourse*.. and now I have a terrible headache because of my smart sister!! -.-"
aaah , Shu ba3d?!
emm that's it I guess!!

Lee Raj3ah ;P

لا تطوّل الغيبة

Hey Dear Page..
Been a while, huh?
Well I don't have much to say but i was just going through my documents when i found hal-g9eeda which i wrote to my sister "awannah" when she was fe Washington D.C. without me, can you imagine?! el-mohem.. so yeah I missed her so much while she was gone, GOD I'm such a good sister :P.. I wrote this on her second day in D.C. but after I got into the mood, my feelings got all mixed up and you would notice at some point that I'm talking about someone else :P
and I know it's not that good, but this is my first try, Enjoy *a*!

لا تطوّل الغيبة ترى القلب ولهان
ولهان و محتاج لدفاك و سكونك

صورَتك تفرح قلب مهموم و زعلان
"و بسمَتك تسعد خاطرن قال :"عونك

معقولة يعني ترحل و قلبي تعبان؟
معقول طيفي ما زار مرة عيونك؟

معقولة أنا أقضي الليل سهران
و انته تنام و دومك مريّح جفونك

أبكي و أنوح و تشب في الجوف نيران
و القلب ما ينبض للحظة بدونك

أوقات أقول إنك عن الوصل عيزان
لأنك مهم جداً و أعمالك يشغلونك

و أوقات أحن و أبكي و أذكّر أحيان
أيام فيها كان فرَحك و جنونك

ياخي خلاص افهم و يكفيك حقران
قلبي و عقلي و مشاعري يحتوونك

خلاص ارجع ارجع أرجوك يا فلان
ترى كل البشر عندي ما يسوونك




Weewie..
26-March-2010

My Vision and Mission

Hey Dear Page <3

So our English teacher told us that each student should make a portfolio of her own and it should include your CV, samples of your writings, your vision and mission and some certificates and awards!

So as a kind of help she allowed us to take or let me say *steal* a "vision and mission" from the internet and put it in our portfolio, you must think what kind of a teacher would ask her pupils to do such things, well ours would!!

Anyway, since it's not that hard i've decided to write my own vision and mission.. but I ended up laughing at what i wrote :P, and i've decided to post it here!! XD

Now Don't Laugh you guys :P

My Vision :-
Is to fulfill my dreams and achieve all my expectations, but also to make sure that I accomplish all of that by my own effort, and keep god on my mind!

My Mission :-
Is to live my life with high spirits and not to regret my mistakes and faults, but to learn from them, so that I don’t repeat them. And of course to take responsibility of my actions and deeds. I also think that it’s my mission to work on getting the best out of my education, and try to extend my knowledge to the highest level I can reach, and to achieve that I have to consider all the criticizes I get and receive them with good manners and look for the negativities and try to fix them.


Peace Out
Xoxo

Last day of Summer :D

SHIT SHIT SHIIIIT :S !!
Tomorrow is my first day of school :S . . and What is it . . Like 3:05 a.m. , and guess what , I Can't Sleep -.-"
Nothing new ya3nii , bss no 7ARAM ! I need to rest before my first day of this SHIT !! I mean School -.-'' . . AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH , Feel like crying T.T , well . . not really , bss ya3nii :S
Sho haa ! I Should sleep . . EFFFF !!
anyway I'mma Talk about my day :D
I had a pretty good one (Y) . So I went out with my best friends :D , 6ab3an we're enjoying our summer till the last minute XD . . so we went to the marina :D
it Was SUPER fun . . There was 6ab3an wayed hotties :P w-They say I looked cute today (a) [and by they i mean my bffs :P]
So There was this really CUTE guy , Chii LOVELY ! Handsome , Tall , Around 20 or SO !! which is SO HOT !! He was really cute :P and omg he was totally checking me out !! :P .. Ewww okay I know that sounded SOOOO WRONG ! , bss No wallah :P , He wasn't checking me out in that disgusting way :P . . La 7laailah , He was just looking ya3nii !
Chii I was soo into this totally Cool story that I was telling My Friends all about it , and I noticed enna he was cute , bss ana chee 6af ya3nii so what :P . . so I moved my eyes 3ala 6ool . . bss When I Looked at him again . . guess what , he was still looking AT ME (AA) . . omg that was SO embarrassing ;$ . . Hehe (a) , and No he wasn't looking like he was Sar7an or something . . it felt like he was looking at me ya3nii :P
fa Chii est7aait and I thought noway I'm not even pretty , why would he check me out . . so Chi nazalt rasii and I was like : " What is he looking at ? " , and My friends were like . . : " YEAAAH ! WHY IS HE LOOKING AT YOU ! "
LOOOOL , That was soooo Fuunnnnnnnnny and REAL embarrassing ;$
emm . . We Really had fun today , I'm glad we enjoyed our last day of vacation xD

With Love . .
Weewz ;**

Boring night :P

Hey there my lonely page :D
emm , I don't really have anything in mind . . bss i'm really really bored w-i just finished reading this AMAZING story on this local girl's blog page :D
I am loving her story mashallah she is really good (Y) , it really makes me happy to see that there are actually girls who write and what's really great that she also have readers and stuff . . walla 7elw chii :D
ya3nii it truns out we locals aren't so pethatic as westerns discribe us . . aaah how much i despise them for that >.<" !! so Back to my point :P . . Yeah I just finished All Her posts @.@ :P and I can't wait for her new one :D (Y) Emm , so I think i'mma go back to reading "New moon" , since I stopped reading it in the holly month of Ramadan x'D . .
hmm . .
What else ???
oOh RIGHT !!
I just got back from AD mall and I saw my friend Shaden :D . . 7ayatiii me miss her LOADZ !! \o/
and Guess who ELSE did i see in AD MALL (A) !
One of my BFF's Cousin :P (aaa) DAMN he is HOT !! o.O" :P
LOOL . . but no 7araam , He is weld 3amha fel-a5eer -.-" I Can't steal him from her :P though she CLAIMS that she hates him -.-" , But I'm as HELL SURE she does NOT !! haha (6)
:P .. I'm seeing her tomorrow fel-Marina (a) . . oooh I can tease her about it all I want XD

So I guess This is it for tonight . . I'mma Hit the shower now :D
Till Next time :D . .
w-I Promise I Won't Be long :DDDD
Love You my Dear Lonely Page *kk*

I Can't Talk about it !

It sucks to keep a secret ! .. and it sucks even more when you can't talk about this little secret to the ONLY person you feel comfortable discussing such a subject with !
And all that is just because that person just doesn't like talking about that subject that's bothering you !
I don't really understand ! .. I mean I know that life isn't fair ! But aren't Friends supposed to be there for each other, aren't families are meant to support each other !
Then Why is it I am always there when someone needs me !
why is it I am always Ready to talk about anything on that persons mind !, so that she knows that I will hold her hand every step of the way !
But when I Come to her , when I Start mentioning the subject, her face changes and she gives me this look which says : " Stop it there " which totally says : " Don't Complete ! "
Why Does She Roll Her Eyes , and Starts staring at the ceiling when I Talk to her about it !
Why Does She Do that !
I'm Lost .. and I need someone to hold my hands this one time !
Why is The only person I see is NO ONE !